lenaclearwater:

damianswayned:

fuck i hate when families with small children are visiting us because the kids always want to play with me

throw some knives at them

(via kellaayboo)

pepsimaxing:

this bra makes it hard to breathe but it makes my boobs look banging - a story by me

(via wishtobeabigcactus)

"1. On our second date, I laughed so hard I burped
And you laughed so hard at me
that you nearly fell off the bed.
2. I didn’t bring a jacket to the fireworks so you leant me yours.
And you kissed me even though I cried.
You didn’t make me tell you why,
Because you knew I didn’t even know myself.
3. You danced naked at midnight when the year changed,
And you dragged me off the sofa to waltz around the living room so fast
I started to see stars.
4. You saw my tiger stripes
And you bathed them,
Kissed them,
And wrapped them in bandages.
Then you made me a cup of tea and put on the telly,
So that I forgot it hurt.
5. You told me you loved me
In your sleep."

— Five ways I knew you were the one. (via stayproud-littleowl)

(via wickedlycrafted)

scottish:

when u say something and it comes out meaner than u intended
image

(Source: aqua, via the-absolute-best-posts)

westleyy:

i don’t actually hate people it just exhausts me being around them for extended periods of time even my friends it’s nothing personal i just actually like being by myself yo

(Source: delvins, via id-fallanywherewithyou)

wtfstyls:

Is that zane from 1direction

this post ruined my life

wtfstyls:

Is that zane from 1direction

this post ruined my life

(Source: bboybands, via asdfghjkllove)

My Promposal :)

My Promposal :)

(Source: yungwifey, via heyfunniest)

babycambridgesmomma:

spoken-not-written:

am i the only one who thinks people look hotter when they’re in underwear and not when they’re naked

image

(via cheesejerkysaywhat)

silversora:

If a dead ancestor doesn’t appear in the sky to stop me, it can’t be that bad of a decision

(via infamous-smile)

australiansanta:

i forgot my earphones more like throw me off a building

(via infamous-smile)

isis-:

icanbeaunicornifiwant2:

sin-sational:

angwomon:

FUCK YOU BRIAN

I didn’t mean to have you

u b star and lot of tatoes then kill ur self wierdo

but the one who managed to get money out of it

(Source: comedycentral, via cheesejerkysaywhat)

larrycoincidences:

do you ever have a plan for the day and suddenly it’s 4pm and you’ve achieved literally nothing 

(via whatsinsideofme)

Period Problems

teafriendsglitterandboys:

Me: I want cuddles

Me: but I don’t want you to touch me

Me: because everything hurts and I’m nauseous

Me: but I also want a grilled cheese

Me: and maybe some brownies

Me: no wonder I’m so bloated and fat

Me: *cries*

Me: WHY WON’T YOU TELL ME I’M PRETTY

Me: YOU’RE A DOUCHE

Me: leave me alone.

Me: no, come back, I want to cuddle you

(Source: laurenxprobs, via keepingquietishard)